You’ve made an egregious error.  You’re stuck in a difficult position.  You want to apologize, but you also don’t want to come off sounding “aw, shucks-ish” (see Rick Perry’s performance here).  So you think of some excuse, quickly, to mitigate the intentionality of your mistake–some bastion of irreproachable excusedom, which (owing to its plausible voicing and earnest tone) will withstand the flaming arrows of skeptics and the x-ray vision of those gifted with a pristine b.s. detector.  In crafting your apology-come-sycophanticpleaforunderstanding, you decide to take the self-referential route.  Maybe, you think, just maybe, it will have the effect of catching people slightly off guard–making them quizzically regard your words long enough to forget the events that necessitated them.  And when they are sufficiently bemused, you’ll fling in a note of humor, like dash of curry powder, to pique their interest.  You’ll begin, in prostrations of genuine atonement, to slowly reel back in your reading audience (consisting mainly of three people, one of which may or may not be your mother).  In doing so, you’ll come to see that it was not you who were depriving them of your voice during your protracted silence, but rather you depriving yourself of something else.  And it is that something else that you are going to reclaim, not in a grandiloquent manner, but by the only method anyone ever does anything worth doing: mundanely, prosaically, and well.

So, yeah.  Sorry I haven’t written in a while.  I was drowning a savory stew of Olympic-watching, desperate job-applying, and degree-finishing-upping.  But I’m back.  Next book to be reviewed: The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay by Michael Chabon.  I’m about halfway done, but it’s 600+ pages, so it might be a day or two more.

In the meantime, feel free to peruse my now absolutely complete Research Paper!  This was the last hurdle to my getting my M.Ed., and it’s done!  A cautionary note:  only read this paper if . . .

  • A. You’ve suddenly been deprived (by an act of black magic) of all other decent or semi-decent reading material
  • B. You have a keen interest in statistical analysis
  • C. You’re a masochist and enjoy punishing yourself to atone for real or perceived moral flaws

It’s good to be back.

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