Alternate pronunciation: Got ye Hamlet?  Many apologies for failing to post a book review in what seems like (and is in fact) ages. A quick and partial list of books I have read during my radio silence that I have every intention of reviewing/discussing:

  • Life of Pi by Yann Martel
  • The Fault in Our Stars by John Green
  • The Round House by Louise Erdrich
  • Luka and the Fire of Life by Salman Rushdie
  • Kant and the Platypus by Umberto Eco
  • The Best American Nonrequired Reading (2008, 2009)
  • War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy

Just kidding on the last one, though I have, at the very least, started it. So far, it’s very, “Princess flirts with Ne’re-do-well officer while busy-body Countess looks on disapprovingly.” Which is not necessarily bad–just not my cup of tea.

What I can offer you in this book-review-less post is a little ditty I composed while substituting for a remarkably quiet English class.  But first, a little history.

Late one evening (I think while I was brushing my teeth), an idea popped into my head with no discernible origin.  I thought, “There needs to be a parody of the Gotye song, ‘Somebody That I Used to Know,’ in which the hook is, ‘Now you’re just some Yorick that I used to know.'”  I quickly made this and let the idea simmer on the back-burner of my brain for a bit:

Fast forward to the quiet English class.  To stave off boredom/brain atrophy, I set about the task of writing lyrics to the aforementioned Gotye sendup.  Here are the fruits of my labors:

Hamlet speaking to the skull of Yorick:

Now and then I think of when you were our court jester
Your jest was infinite; your fancy was so excellent.
Alas, I knew you when you smiled so free.
I kissed your lips, but now, where are thee?
But that was then, and now you’re quite a bit more dismembered.

I think I’ve gotten quite addicted to a certain sadness.
It’s bilious melancholy, and/or existential angst.
And then I find that you are just a skull–
Worms have eaten you from head to toe.
But I’ll admit that I enjoy feeling somewhat emo

But you didn’t have to go perish,
Expiring like a month-old head of moldy lettuce,
And I don’t even need your jokes.
Symbol of mortality–that’s kind of rough.
No you didn’t have to stoop so low,
Your body buried deep within the ground and food for earthworms.
Memento mori–I don’t need you, though.
Now you’re just some Yorick that I used to know.

Now you’re just some Yorick that I used to know.
Now you’re just some Yorick that I used to know.

Ophelia speaking to Hamlet:

Now and then I think of all the times you spurned my letters,
And told me rudely I belonged in an old nunnery.
But I don’t want to live that way,
Far away in some place like Norway.
You got mom issues with Queen Gertrude,
But that doesn’t excuse your actions toward me; they are really rude.

But you didn’t have to cut me off,
Make out like it never happened and that we were nothing,
And I don’t even need your love,
Just some pretty flowers and real cold bath.
No you didn’t have to stoop so low,
Freud’s gonna have a field day with all of your bizarre behavior,
I guess that I don’t need you though.
Now you’re just some Hamlet that I used to know.

I fully intend to make this into a music video (sans bizarre nudity and paint).  YouTube stardom here I come!